Friendship… that’s a really important word to say, in fact I think that it´s a word which means responsibility and love and it´s more that a feeling and an emotion, it´s a relationship that needs strong and loyalty.
I consider my self like a friendly person but in serious friendly, when I meet someone I give this person my friendship but not for a moment, my friendship is forever, that´s why I prefer a reliable friend, more than one that be intelligent o someone who has sense of humor, because some intelligent not always gonna be a good friend maybe sometimes this intelligent friend see you like “something” that helps him in every moment a really useful like a tool , obviously that’s what friends do help us, but he´s goin to want always this help for his own interest and welfare and maybe not always gonna be honest whit you, like a math expert all with logic no more no hearth just logic; a friend who has a huge sense of humor it´s a funny guy, but who says that this person is always like this? If this person shows him self in every moment whit a joke and a funny thing, what is like he is hungry? Or what´s happen if you make a mistake? Maybe his reaction were a huge smile or maybe he´s gonna hates you who knows? Or maybe he is just that “friend” that makes you laugh and nothing more, he´s not whit you in the bad days, or maybe he is but no supports you just laugh and makes jokes. But a reliable friend has all the time of the world to get to know you in the perfect way, always gonna support you, never gonna lie to you in fact always tell you the truth even if this is awful , is gonna be in the bad an great days and the most important thing always gonna love you just the way you are.
ok, i hope you understand my corrections jajja regards :)
ResponderEliminarheyy my friend..still i can't publish my corrections in your wall :(
ResponderEliminarESSAY’S CORRECTION:
ResponderEliminarANSWER TO THE QUESTION (Essay Topic): I think that she answers the question because she explains each and she chooses the best answer for her but im not agree with the title, I would prefer this name: “Friendship, A Real Friend and Me”, why this topic?, because she begins talking about a true friendship, then she talks about how she offers her friendship and finally she describes what she prefers like a real friend for her.
COMPREHENSIBILITY: In general the Essay is comprehensible what she wants to say, besides she uses a known vocabulary and I think that anyone can have the principal idea although you find some script’s errors.
GRAMMAR: I think that the grammar is not perfect because I could find some errors when she wrote some words and losing a little bit the sense of the sentence but I could find in some sentence good structures and I think that when we are writing an essay, we should avoid the contractions and write the complete word, I could realize to omitted some subjects, so I think that she’s medium grammar, now I will show some examples that have grammar’s errors in agreement what I considered was wrong.
ResponderEliminar“it´s more THAT a feeling or an emotion” = Original sentence
“It’s more THAN a feeling or an emotion”= Corrected word
“I consider MY SELF like a friendly person”= Original sentence
“I consider MYSELF like a friendly person”= Corrected word
“One that be intelligent O someone”= Original sentence
“One that be intelligent OR someone”= Corrected word
More examples below
“a math expert all with logic NO MORE no HEARTH just logic” = Original sentence
ResponderEliminar“a math expert all with logic AND no HEART, just logic” = here, I wanted to replace “no more” by “and”
“If this person shows HIM SELF in every moment WHIT a joke and a funny thing"= Original sentence
“if this person shows HIMSELF in every moment WITH a joke and a funny thing" Corrected words
In the next paragraph I corrected the contractions because is an essay and some subject that I think must be there.
ResponderEliminar“, always GONNA support you, never GONNA lie to you in fact always tell you the truth even if this is awful , is GONNA be in the bad an great days and the most important thing always GONNA love you just the way you are.”
“always it is GOING TO support you, never it is GOING TO lie to you, in fact always tell you the truth even if this is awful, it is GOING TO be in the bad an great days and the most important thing always GOING TO love you just the way you are”
Finally,
VOCABULARY: I think that I found some interesting vocabulary in this essay but I think that is medium and it’s not that high.
this is after COMPREHENSIBILITY:
ResponderEliminarORGANIZATION: I think that the response is good organized and developed because she begins talking about what she thinks is a good friendship for her and then she talks about like she is her behavior with true friends, after she developed each word like intelligent, the sense humor and reliable what she thinks about it, and finally she chooses the principal quality in a friend.
FLOW OF IDEAS: When I was reading the essay I could realize that she repeats the same word several times in few lines, so it make that the flow of ideas not that good; for example :
“consider my self like a FRIENDLY person but in serious FRIENDLY”
ResponderEliminar“always GONNA support you, never GONNA lie to you in fact always tell you the truth even if this is awful , is GONNA be in the bad an great days and the most important thing always GONNA love you just the way you are.”
“MAYBE his reaction were a huge smile or MAYBE he´s gonna hates you who knows? Or MAYBE he is just that “friend” that makes you laugh and nothing more, he´s not whit you in the bad days, or MAYBE”
“it´s a word which means responsibility AND love AND it´s more”
And with the last examples I can say that the words repeats could be replaced by others like simonies or she could have found more words and this way the essay would have been more flow than what she wrote.